You Can’t Flow Without the Faff

Is embracing your Feminine Faffer the stress relief you’ve been looking for?

Faffing about. 

A delightful English saying.

Although it can lose its element of delight when my husband impatiently instructs me to ‘STOP FAFFING AROUND.’

Which he is known to do when I’m aimlessly deliberating about what to wear and/or have decided to cut my toenails or rearrange the kitchen cupboard prior to us needing leave the house to go somewhere.

What can I say? I’m a Faffer. An expert Faffer.

It’s weird because I can also be extremely organised, highly motivated, and super-productive.

But when a Faff-Attack hits, it hits hard.

I can’t make a decision to save my life – whether to wash my hair, what to wear, what to eat, what to tackle first on the to-do list…it all gets too much. I end up losing the will to brush my teeth and instead start purchasing unneeded consumer goods from Instagram advertisements.  

Can you relate?

What is that all about?

I started out this year (as well as this email) wanting to be FAFF-FREE.

No more faffing. Faff no more!

I vowed to stop procrastinating. To stop being so wishy-washy. To stop wasting time.

I vowed to be decisive. Assertive. Efficient. Productive.

Well, 2024 is barely three weeks old and those vows have gone to shit.

I should’ve known this. Seen it coming.

If you try to ruthlessly eliminate the faff, it’s inevitable that you’re going to get ‘faff-back’.

This is energetic push-back - comprised of a rebellious tantrum, a stubborn refusal to participate in ANY task that might remotely lead to a productive outcome and a paralysing stand-off between you and your INNER FAFFER. That part of you that LOVES faffing. That NEEDS faffing. 

Your INNER FAFFER has no interest in being driven, and ambitious or industrious. It could not care less about a completed to-do list item. It laughs in the face of an incomplete tax return. It is deadline-immune.

Your INNER FAFFER wants ZERO pressure and has no desire for an OUTCOME.

How ridiculous is that?

Err…

It is ridiculous, isn’t it?

I mean, we should all be pressuring ourselves to achieve outcomes, all the time, non-stop…

Right?

🤔

Hmm.

Are you having the second thoughts I’m having?

I’m thinking your INNER FAFFER could be kinda helpful. Kinda WHAT YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.

Your INNER FAFFER brings the gift of rest. The freedom to play, to daydream and imagine all the wonderful things you want to do with your life…the care-free ability to go where the mood takes you...

This is all sounding more and more like the DIVINE FEMININE to me. The YIN GODDESS you’ve been attending somatic workshops to commune with.

And yet…we’re trying to eliminate her! 😲

No wonder it’s not working. You know what happens when the Masculine tries to stamp out the Feminine….

You want flow?

It’s simple. You gotta get down with the faffing.

You CANNOT FLOW WITHOUT FAFF.

Faffing and floating about is the Yin to the Yang of action and productivity. 

2 SIMPLE STEPS TO TAKE WHEN YOU’RE FAFF-RESISTANT:

1) STOP SNUBBING YOUR INNER FAFFER.

If you feel impatient and frustrated by your INNER FAFFER, you’re probably cursing it, you know, accusing it of being lazy and useless. STOP IT. You never liked it when your parents labelled you lazy and chastised you for resting on the couch – so stop doing it to yourself. Now.

2) BE A PROACTIVE AND PURPOSEFUL FAFFER.

Make it a choice to faff – so it doesn’t feel like it’s out of control. It’s a logical, common-sense approach to your energy. There is part of you that needs to be free. To float, to dream, to go wild. Embrace the benefits of faffing (relaxation, rejuvenation, creativity, space for inspiration to name a few) and ENJOY its necessary and fruitful place in the world. Completely trust that Faffing is part of you getting wherever you need to be.

Let the Faff in. And Let the Flow begin.