BUST THE TOP 8 MYTHS STOPPING YOU FROM LIVING YOUR LIFE PURPOSE RIGHT NOW
by belinda morris
What is your Life Purpose?
You have an innate drive to express your ‘Self’ in this lifetime.
Your true nature will continue to seek expression, even if it is at odds with who you’ve been conditioned or expected to be. (Also regardless of your mortgage, your family obligations and your work demands!)
While there is plenty of encouragement for you to ‘shine’ and be true to yourself, there is also plenty of encouragement for you to conform and meet external expectations.
I believe that you can honour your individuality and be part of the whole. Your purpose is simply the EXPRESSION of your ESSENCE. And this expression is critical to CREATING HARMONY within you and with the world around you. Striving, stress and struggle are signs that you are out of harmony with your true inner nature.
A CHANGE IN PERSPECTIVE
It should be simple to be your true self, shouldn't it?
However, you've been conditioned to value effort within a paradigm that has you working hard to earn things, struggling to feel deserving, and constantly striving to improve. And so, you end up viewing your life purpose as a project to be completed - something that has to be achieved.
This way of viewing your life purpose is exactly why you might feel stuck.
I wrote this blog (and developed the self-transformation program Path of Purpose) to 'get you on the right path' by changing the way you view your life purpose. You'll bust through 8 myths and come to view your purpose in a different way - one that doesn’t split you in two, feeling like you must choose between fulfilling yourself or operating in the reality of the world.
It is possible to live in a way that honours your true nature, brings you meaning, purpose and joy and which doesn’t leave you feeling like you are not enough or there is something missing. Living your purpose can be effortless.
LIFE PURPOSE MYTH #1: Unhelpful Mind Chatter Is A Sign You’re Failing In Life.
Truth: Your Inner Control Freak Will Always Want To Hijack Your Journey From Control To Flow.
why is it so hard to stop trying to control everything?
Did you start this year a little ‘gung-ho’? Determined to ‘get serious’ about getting something done?
Well, I did.
I had BIG plans for this year. I’m building a new studio on the property and it’s the first time in a while I’ve had some BIG plans or a BIG project. I was determined to ‘nail it.’
More specifically, I was determined to nail my ‘new approach to nailing things.’
That is, I wanted to work patiently, intuitively, and cooperatively…instead of how I’d always worked, with stress, pressure, anxiety, and worry.
I was a woman determined to be all flow-ey. Flow. Flow. Flow. I wanted to be a flowing goddess, watching the project unfold and evolve with ease and grace.
Now, you’re probably thinking that I’m about to tell you that it all went pear-shaped.
Well, no.
It hasn’t.
In fact, it’s tracking along nicely.
WTF?
The fact that it’s tracking along nicely is disconcerting. As much as I was determined to be a flow-ey Goddess, the truth is that I still held an underlying expectation that it would be a complete sh*t show.
But the timing is working out perfectly. Decisions are easy. And every day, I’m sitting on the building site and tuning in, talking to the emerging spirit of the studio. It’s lovely. It’s also certifiable evidence that I am peculiar. 🤪
But no mind.
With things going to plan a strange thing has happened. I’ve become aware of how much my Programmed Self, my Inner Control Freak really wants to hijack this flow.
Constant Mind Chatter! 😫 It’s as if my Programmed Self is constantly looking at my Essential Self and commentating… “She’s lost the plot! She’s a complete Nutter! You can’t get anything you want like this. If she thinks that she can just waltz in as this thing manifests without breaking into a sweat or losing sleep…she’s delusional”
It never stops. 🥱
Instead of arguing with her I’ve just decided to watch my ‘striving, stress and struggle’ programming die a slow painful death. 🍿
What’s interesting is that I realised that I’ve always seen that incessant commentary as a sign of failure. A sure indication that “I’m not nailing it,” and also revealing a hidden expectation that the ‘flow’ should be a mentally silent affair.
But it turns out that your programming’s got the vibe of an unkillable Zombie. 🧟♀️
So, this time, rather than abandon my flow when the zombie shows up, I decided to just look at her and say: "Gee, you’re looking pretty today, did you do something new with your hair-nest? Nice to see you, but I’m not going to let you hijack me.”
Why is it so hard to STOP TRYING TO CONTROL everything?
Can you relate to wanting the MAGIC of MANIFESTATION but ending with a MILITARY MISSION of over-analysing, over-trying and over-working? When you want control of your life, but you don't want to be controlling?
Interestingly, as I was procrastinating in writing this email, I decided to look up the origins of the word ‘gung-ho’. While it has come to mean ‘overly enthusiastic,’ according to the History Channel, the term gung-ho was used by the Chinese army to describe how the troops worked together using a ‘system of cooperation’ – ‘gung-ho’ literally meant ‘working together’.
How fascinating!
So now, I can say that I am achieving gung ho. I’m working together - even with an Inner Control Freak Zombie. Who would’ve thought?
LIFE PURPOSE MYTH #2: You Have to Try Hard.
Truth: The Perfect Life For You Will Unfold Whether You Like It Or Not.
your life purpose is perfect for you
Here’s a POP QUIZ for you:
If I told you right now that you no longer had to try at anything, what would your initial, default response be?
a) Shiver goes up your spine, a knot of anxiety starts to form in your stomach as you say: “oh god, I’d feel lost, all at sea, how would I ever get what I want or get where I want to go?”
b) Tension in the neck and shoulders, an uprising of internal anger and a surge of resistance: “how the hell would that work?! You have to try!”
c) Head starts to spin with confusion, overwhelmed with questions that can’t be answered: “what would that even look like? How? What would happen? What do I need to do then?”
d) Shoulders drop, energy sinks into the body with the heaviness of despondency: “well what would the point be? There’d be no point in doing anything…”
e) All or a combination of the above
So, here’s the next part of the quiz.
Reflect on your answer and ask yourself:
Why do I think I need to try?
What am I scared will happen if I let go of trying?
If you’ve always tried hard, if you’ve always sought to ‘do your best,’ if you’re a perfectionist who’s worked hard to get things right, to fix things, to improve things, to get better at things, then the concept of not trying is totally foreign. It’s unheard of.
The concept of not trying…well…it’s untried!
And quite frankly you consider ‘not trying’ a totally outrageous concept.
But let’s ‘try’ another outrageous concept.
When faced with the possibility of not having to try, wouldn’t it be great to simply sigh out, relax, allow your shoulders to drop, your heart to lighten, and say: “thank God! I’m sick of trying so hard all the time”?
C’mon, humour me. It would feel good, wouldn’t it? To let go of the striving, stress, and struggle. All that effort. The constant feeling that you’re not enough or you’re not doing enough. And that terrible feeling of futility that despite how hard you try you don’t ever seem to feel content.
What if the reason you try – to feel accomplishment, fulfilment, improvement, self-pride, doing your best – could happen WITHOUT having to try so hard?
How?!
Owning your Life Purpose.
Living your Purpose means letting go of perfectionism by claiming your innate perfection.
Living your purpose is a godsend for perfectionists.
Because it enables you to see that your perfection is built in! It’s your default setting.
Your life purpose is perfect.
It’s perfectly aligned.
It’s perfectly suited to you.
It’s perfectly fulfilling.
All because it is perfectly YOU.
Perfectionism has been defined as a combination of excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations. (https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bul-bul0000138.pdf)
And why is it stressful? Because these standards and critical evaluations are tied to your head’s idea of who you should be. Not your soul’s blueprint for who you are here to be.
When you tune in to your life purpose, the stress of trying drops away. Because for once in your life you are accepting who you are. And you’re delighted to find that you can be who you are easily!
Your Life Purpose is not going to ask of you something that you can’t do, or don’t like. It’s not going to make you ‘try’ to master something you have no interest or inclination for.
Your Life Purpose asks you to accept your true nature and live it. Your unique talents, qualities, and gifts. Why would you need to ‘try’ to do anything that is already in your nature?
The Path of Purpose is a really a path of reclamation. Of owning your true nature and then doing whatever it takes to express it. There’s no effort or trying hard because you already have what you need, you just need to take some action to let it out, let it flow.
LIFE PURPOSE MYTH #3: Your Life Purpose is a Luxury.
Truth: You Don’t Need to Change Your Entire Life Simply To Be Who You Already Are.
everyone is here to live their life purpose. no exceptions.
there are some common things I hear from people when we start to talk about living your life purpose. See if you’ve had the same thoughts…
When I ask you about living your life purpose, does your mind automatically tell you that you don’t have enough…
1) Time
How could I fit it in my busy timetable?! I need more time to explore it, investigate it. I need to wait until I have that illusive ‘spare time’.
2) Space
I’m too busy at the moment. I have too much going on. I don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to think about it. I wouldn’t be able to get the clarity. I’ll think about it when all of this (fill in the blanks with current drama) settles down, then I’ll be able to focus on it.
3) Money
I don’t have the financial freedom to investigate my life purpose. I need to work. I need to pay my mortgage. I’ve got obligations. If my life purpose is doing something else with my career, I couldn’t afford to do it.
4) Support
My husband/wife/partner won’t understand or support me in exploring this. What will it mean for them? They need me to keep working in this job, they won’t want to move house, they’ll surely be worried I’ll leave them.
5) Knowledge
I just wouldn’t know where to start. I’d have to research. Study. Read a million books. It hurts my head to think about it. I can’t see how to do it.
How did you go? Did some of those thoughts resonate?
It’s the strangest thing. When you read through the list of these reasons, you’d think that your mind somehow considers the concept of living your life purpose to be akin to ditching your entire life, neglecting all your current obligations, and running off to some sort of exclusive, remote, luxury destination.
Weird, isn’t it?
Since when did we consider being our true selves an irresponsible luxury?
Why do we consider our life purpose as some sort of ‘lofty goal’ that requires us to be free of all time, work, and financial constraints?
Why do we assume that our life purpose will be a threat to our marriage, relationship, or family life?
Why do we think we’ll have to change our whole life to live it?
Every single person on this planet is here to live their life purpose. Not just the rich people. Not just the spiritual teachers. Not just the talented artists. Not just the people with supportive partners and accessible childcare. Not just the people with all the time in the world.
All of you.
And…you get to live your life purpose. Now.
You live it in the circumstances you are in. Now.
You live it with the resources you already have. Now.
And you live it with the support you have. Now.
You don’t have to wait to be yourself.
You don’t need anything more to be yourself.
But you do need permission (from your self!), willingness, and courage.
In the Path of Purpose, we explore what your purpose is, and who you’re here to be. But spoiler alert…there’s a good chance you’re already living it. You’re just caught up in the stress, striving and struggle programming and you believe that who you are and what you’re doing isn’t enough.
Connecting to your essence doesn’t cost anything, doesn’t take up any time or space and it doesn’t require you to neglect your worldly responsibilities.
The Path can help you to find the fulfilment and meaning in who you are and the life you’re already living. (Phew! Cancel that booking to the Highlands of Scotland, I don’t have to leave my husband to run off and find Jamie Fraser!).
If you’ve been telling yourself that you don’t already have what you need to live your purpose, if you’ve been fearful that exploring your purpose will mean having to change your whole life – to do something different, be something different…then please get out of your mind. The world needs you to drop the stories.
We need to see the real you. Now.
We don’t want to wait until you have the time and space. We don’t want to wait until you’ve saved up enough money. We don’t want to wait until you’re ready to quit your job. We don’t want to wait until your next holiday. We don’t want to wait until you’ve finished reading those books. We don’t want to wait until your kids are finished school.
We want to see the amazing person YOU are, right NOW.
LIFE PURPOSE MYTH #4: You’ll Get Too Big for Your Boots.
Truth: Honour Your Fear Of Vulnerability And Get On With Your Life.
the drive to express your talents doesn’t go away
I flowed out of the hair salon with my new cut and colour feeling a million bucks. I had that renewed makeover feeling, a re-fresh, a new lease on life. And just quietly, between you and me, I thought I was totally rocking my new hairstyle.
I breezed into the coffee shop, feeling a spring in my step. Unshackled from the vibrational constraints of a bad-hair-day.
As I ordered my coffee and handed over my money, the girl behind the counter looked at me and smiled.
“Have you just had your hair done?”
Ahh, she’s noticed! The fabulous vibrant colour. The brilliant shine. The bounce.
“Yes, I have” I replied, smiling coyly.
“Thought so.” She blurted as she slammed the cash register shut. “There’s hair all over your sleeve.”
As she handed over my change, I looked down to see the sleeve of my jumper covered in hair clippings. Sheepishly backing away from the counter, I made haste to walk out of the coffee shop before remembering that I had to stand there and wait for my coffee…and get back in my box. (Cringe).
Can you remember a time when you were going about your merry way, simply being yourself, perhaps even showing your talents, and then out of the blue someone interrupted you and told you to get back in your box?
Do you remember feeling embarrassed? Ashamed? Humiliated? Do you remember deciding to make yourself small, to shrink yourself down to fit in that box?
Well, are you still hiding in that box?
And have you tried to get out of it only to feel paralysed by the fear of vulnerability?
John McEnroe famously said, “Everyone loves success, but they hate successful people” which seems to nicely sum up the ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ predominant our culture, where success has come to simultaneously attract accolades and attacks.
Right or wrong, success makes you vulnerable to the judgement of others.
When it comes to ‘stepping out’ and letting yourself follow your dream or passion, you will inevitably face the fear of standing out and becoming a target of criticism borne from jealousy and resentment.
So, what are you gonna do – stay in your box?
Do you decide not to live your life purpose simply because you’re scared of judgement?
In a previous blog, How to Overcome your Fear of Success, I made the case that sooner or later something’s got to give. You can’t continue to avoid success, fearing the judgement of others while trying to honour your talents and build a healthy self-belief at the same time.
I argue that the drive to express your talents and reach your potential will eventually win out.
Best just to get to work dealing with that pesky fear of judgement.
When it comes to living your purpose, the game is up. That fear you have of ‘getting too big for your boots’ is nothing more than your ‘sabotage of choice.’
I’m not saying that your fear of being mowed down for being arrogant isn’t real. But it can be masking your true fear of being brilliant. I shall re-quote myself:
True self-belief is rarely arrogance. It is an understated, quiet confidence that is built on an unshakable trust and a healthy respect for one’s knowledge, experience, expertise and of course, worthiness.
You, like all of us, are holding on to memories of a good old-fashioned slap down. I haven’t met a client that doesn’t have a wound of this type.
The thing to realise is this:
It’s just a memory.
You’re not necessarily scared of being arrogant. Of being too big for your boots. You’re simply sh*t scared of feeling that terrible feeling again. That sinking ‘That’s right, I’m not worth anything, what was I thinking?’ feeling.
A fine balance must be struck. You absolutely must tend to your slap down wounds. You must acknowledge your fears. You must honour your vulnerability. But you must also find a way of moving forward without letting them stop you or derail your success. You must find a way not to be scared of feeling your feelings. Your life purpose depends on it. Time to simply dust off the hair clippings and get on with it.
LIFE PURPOSE MYTH #5: You’re Not Qualified.
Truth: Who You Are (Not What You Achieve) Is A Valued Offering to The Universe.
if you’re not qualified to live your life purpose, who is?
It was one of those Mind-Body-Spirit fairs, filled with booths of healers and psychics giving readings and healings. (You may know the type; you probably remember the headspin! LOL).
My friend had decided to have a ‘Chakra reading’ using a machine that scanned your body and then produced a report showing the current colours (and therefore health) of your chakras.
As my friend studied her report with furrowed brow, the lovely man tending the booth explained what it all meant. Some of the chakras were ‘off-colour’, some were bright, and some were dull.
Yet, as he was describing them, she seemed to be getting more and more agitated. It was apparent that she wanted some sort of ‘answer,’ which he couldn’t give. Eventually she just blurted out in exasperation: “Yes, I get all that, but I just want to know which one is better!”
And there it was. I don’t think I’ve found a better real-life example of the Western mindset towards enlightenment.
We’ve been trained to search for the ‘better’. To measure things. To rank things. To see things as a progression from inferior to superior. To always be making progress.
And this is how we can mistakenly approach living our life purpose.
Sooner or later, you question why you’re here. You wonder what it’s all about. You contemplate what your contribution is to the world.
You decide that you want to tackle this question of your life purpose.
And then…
You tackle it the only way know how. The only way you’ve been taught.
You find yourself approaching it as if it’s a corporate ladder. You think it requires passing levels, proving your worth and getting it right.
Somehow you see it as some sort of exercise in becoming ‘qualified.’
And all this mindset does (speaking from experience) is leave you in confusion, overwhelm and paralysing self-doubt.
The fulfilment of your life purpose is not linear. It’s not a ladder of progression. It’s not a process of certification. It’s not achievement-based. It isn’t time sensitive. It isn’t even effort-driven. WHAT?!
Your life purpose is already there, waiting for you. There’s nothing to do but REALISE it.
There are no conditions you need to meet before you can know it or live it.
This can be the best revelation ever. Or the scariest.
Because if there are no barriers, no conditions, what then, is in the way of you knowing and living your life purpose?
Why are you NOT qualified to live your own destiny?
It’s crazy when you think about it. I mean, if you don’t believe you’ve got what it takes to live your own destiny, then who does? It’s not like you can find someone better suited to the job of living the life YOU are meant to live.
Perhaps we might start to call out all the measure it, earn it, progress it, bullsh*t for what it might really be…
Could it be that all the conditions you place on yourself are nothing but a sophisticated cover-up for the belief that you don’t believe you’re worthy of living your purpose?
Is it a way of putting off acknowledging that YOU, just you, without all the bells and whistles of effort, hard work and struggle, have something incredible to offer the world?
I’ll leave you to ponder that.
LIFE PURPOSE MYTH #6: You Need to Wait for Permission.
Truth: Stop Waiting for Someone Else to Relieve You of The Guilt You Feel For Simply Being Yourself.
only you have the power to decide to be yourself
I think it’s five, no wait six…oh seven.
Yep, I currently have SEVEN un-finished books sitting next to my bed.
One of the books has a bookmark literally THREE pages from the end of the book. THREE PAGES!
And guess what?!
I don’t feel any guilt or shame when I look at this pile of books, which I now proudly call my ‘altar of incompletion,’ a tribute to the permission I’ve given myself to honour my ADD.
But it wasn’t always like this. I lived with book shame for a long time (I once actually contemplated wearing a disguise to the post office to pick up yet ANOTHER book delivery).
The inner conflict was real.
I couldn’t finish a book, but neither could I put it back on the shelf.
And so, the pile grew.
And every time I looked at it, I felt…guilty.
It was a multi-layered conflict between my feelings of guilt and my emotional needs:
Guilt: ‘not finishing something’
Need: ‘keep my options open’
Guilt: ‘indecision and the inability to choose ONE thing’
Need: avoid boredom and ‘start something new’
Guilt: ‘wasting my money’
Need: avoid FOMO, 'perhaps there will be something I really need to know in that last chapter?!'
And as I wrestled with my book shame, which was also my ADD and information-addiction shame, it never occurred to me to simply accept that it was OK.
I was judging myself against a set of invisible rules of what I ‘should’ be like.
And then slowly, things changed.
I listened to an Astrology lecture by Steven Forrest about how your moon sign relates to your ‘irrational’ emotional needs. The things that make you happy, but don’t make logical sense. I remember literally LOOKING at my over-flowing bookcase as he said it. Ah ha! My moon is in the information-addicted sign of Gemini. Books make me irrationally happy!
I read Barbara Sher’s Refuse to Choose: Use All of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams, in which Sher says that as a ‘Scanner’ (her word for multi-passionate people) you don’t finish things once you ‘get what you came for.’ In other words, you might read 3 chapters of a book to get the insight you need – you don’t need to finish the rest.
In both these instances, the RELIEF I felt was instantaneous and palpable.
Why?
Because these brilliant minds had simply given me permission to operate in the way I was naturally operating.
It’s as if they’d waved a magic wand with their words, erasing all guilt and shame.
There was NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!
Hallelujah! Cancel my next therapy session!
Permission is a funny thing.
Deep down you know that waiting for someone else to give you permission to be yourself, pursue or dreams or receive what you deserve is futile.
Because you know that only YOU have the power to decide to be your true self.
But, like Dorothy in the land of Oz, if the Good Witch had told you that you ALWAYS had permission and the power to go home, you wouldn’t have believed it. You had to find it out for yourself.
Sometimes we actually need a Good Witch moment. It might be a spontaneous revelation from within. Or it might come to you in the form of a friend, role model or even a random passing comment.
It’s that magical moment when we give ourselves permission to stop waiting for permission!
Can you think of a ‘Good Witch’ moment? A time when you were freed from rules or limitations that caused guilt or shame about who you are or the way you do things? Do you want more of these moments? You have my permission.
LIFE PURPOSE MYTH #7: You’re in Charge of Outcomes.
Truth: Let Go of Your Fear of Making The ‘Wrong’ Decision.
you only have to take responsibility for your part
When it comes to living your life purpose, or living your life in general, are you suffering from the three Overs?
Over…Analysis
Over…Responsibility
Over…Whelm
Are you OVER IT?
In the delightful book The Midnight Library by Matt Haig, the protagonist Nora returns to the afterlife with the ability to continue exploring the alternative lives she could have lived had she made different decisions. She is guided on the journey by Mrs. Elm, who coaches her through her ‘choices.’ After one particularly disappointing lifetime, when Nora’s expectations were high because she felt she’d made the ‘right choice,’ Mrs. Elm counsels Nora with this gem: “you can choose choices but not outcomes.”
I read it.
I re-read it.
I re-read it again.
Me. No. Compute.
The over-analytical, over-responsible and generally overwhelmed Empath in me stared at the page. My ears pricked up and my head tilted to the side like a curious puppy trying to detect where a strange noise is coming from.
What is this mythical world she speaks of?
A world where there you’re not in control of outcomes!
A world where you’re not guaranteed a particular outcome because you overthink all possibilities and analyse the sh*t out of every possible scenario!
A world where you’re not responsible for what happens after you’ve made your choice!
When it comes to indecision, you might habitually pin it on your ‘fear of making the wrong decision’.
Yet this line crystalises exactly why we struggle to make decisions.
In truth, the mental and emotional ordeal of decision-making comes from:
Hypothesising how your choices will impact others
Worrying how others will feel about your decisions (or react to them!)
Stage-managing how your decision will look
Strategising how you’ll avoid unwanted outcomes and disasters
Ensuring you’re not underestimating or overcompensating
Burdening your choice with expectations
Attaching to an outcome your mind insists is the ‘right’ one
Decision-making is stressful and overwhelming when you take responsibility for all the parts that are not up to you.
Not because you're scared of making the wrong decision.
You are not and never will be solely responsible for other people and outcomes. You, your decisions, and actions go out into the big wild world and COLLIDE with the actions and decisions of everyone else. This ‘co-creation’ is what leads to outcomes.
Being an over-responsible over-whelmed empath gets in the way…of everything.
If you feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of living your own life, the chances are this is because you are also taking too much responsibility for outcomes, people and the emotions and thoughts that others have in relation to your choices, which incidentally, HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
To take responsibility for your life and your decisions within it requires letting go of everything else and listening to one thing, and one thing only. The voice of your calling. Your Heart, gently guiding you towards your destiny. When you do this, you can’t go wrong.
LIFE PURPOSE MYTH #8: You Have to Go it Alone.
Truth: You Can Be Your Individual SELF and Stay Connected to the WHOLE.
you must be true to yourself to have a true connection with others
I often hear it.
A client describing to me the reasons for their fear of change.
That it will mean letting people down. That it will mean leaving people behind. That it will mean being selfish. That it will mean neglecting others. And ultimately, that it will mean the end of a relationship.
Does the prospect of letting go of your ‘old self’ feel like it will mean letting go of someone else?
It’s not unfounded. It’s a very real fear. It’s a critical issue which I address with individual clients and in couple’s sessions all the time.
When you change other people must navigate and adjust to that change too. And your growth, your expansion and your shift in consciousness can be scary for those around you.
They’re scared of where you’re going (especially if you’re seeing some ‘woo woo witch lady’) and they’re terrified you’ll leave them behind. They’re scared of what it will mean for them if or when you stop playing a particular role for them.
Intuitively you pick up on this fear, what do you do?
You put your desires on hold.
You decide not to grow.
You let it hold you back.
😨
But the call to change doesn’t GO AWAY. It will keep knocking at your door. The more you continue to say no, the louder the knocking will get. In fact, most of your problems are a result of unanswered knocks. Your soul may be banging down your door to get you to change.
And so, there comes a time when you face what feels like an ultimatum.
Me or them?
It’s as if you must choose between being yourself and following your dreams or choosing to be in your relationship or family.
And ultimately this choice is between staying true and connected to yourself or staying true and connected to others.
It often doesn’t feel possible to do both because there are fears attached to both choices:
If you choose others - you fear the loss of your personal freedom, power, or truth
If you choose self - you fear being alone, unsafe, or unloved
So, what to do?🙆♀️
Get out of your head!
This type of inner conflict results from a duality consciousness with divided thinking. For example, you must choose between the perspective of individuality – the need to find your true self OR the perspective of the community – the need to work together as a collective.
Unity consciousness, however, is Heart-based, not Head-based. You let go of either/or thinking and embrace and/all thinking.
When you look at things through the eyes of the Heart, you no longer have to choose…or go it alone. Ever.
It’s possible to be your individual self as part of the whole.
In fact, you come to see that being your true self is necessary to forming a true connection with others.
This shift in perspective is therefore a necessary part of successfully navigating your journey of personal growth. You will change. And so will your relationships. If you don’t do the work to make this shift, you’ll continue to hold yourself back through the fear of being alone, unsafe, or unloved.
Meanwhile your soul will keep knocking. 🚪
