Want to Improve your Psychic Powers?
Stop Prioritising the Practical
One day when I couldn’t get out of bed, I was forced to ask the simple question: why won’t my body do what I want it to?
My mind was committed to getting out of bed and going to work. And yet my body flatly refused to move.
At first, I thought this ‘sabotage’ was all my body’s fault.
I labelled my body difficult, stubborn, wrong, weak, an inconvenience. It was a troublemaker that was refusing to follow orders and do the thing it’s supposed to do.
After years of arguing with my body and trying to MAKE it do what it SHOULD do, I realised that perhaps, just perhaps, it didn’t want to do what I thought it should do for a very good reason. I entertained the idea that perhaps, it knew better. “We’re here today because she refuses to have sex with me” said the disgruntled husband as his wife sank further back into her chair.
This was going to be an interesting couples’ session.
It was a delicate problem to solve, that’s for sure. And dare I say it, not too uncommon. This couple had arrived in my clinic room having been to about 8 different counsellors before me.
When I enquired why they had not managed to resolve their problem after all this therapy, the husband replied that it was because his wife was being ‘illogical’, while she complained that it was because all the sessions had focused on implementing ‘stupid strategies’ such as ‘purchasing more sexy lingerie’.
Accept that your emotional problems don’t make sense.
Many of your problems continue because they are in essence, illogical. They don’t make sense to the rational mind and are therefore immune to all reasonable attempts to solve them with ‘practical strategies.’
Think about it. A phobia, addiction or bad habit doesn’t make sense. It defies logic. Your intellect can know what’s bad for you and yet you’ll continue to do it. You might know that your fear of spiders is completely irrational, but does having this awareness stop you from running shrieking from the sight of a spider on your wall? No.
Stop ignoring your emotional sensitivity.
Let’s return to the sexless marriage.
Sure, buying more sexy lingerie, implementing a date night, and lighting some candles are valid, common-sense, and practical actions you can take to tackle the problem.
But in my experience, it’s rarely how a psychic, emotionally sensitive and empathic person would approach it.
My first instinct was to intuitively sense that the wife had a very valid reason for resisting intimacy in her relationship. My first thought, was not, ‘you should get yourself down to Victoria’s Secret girI,’ but ‘what are you feeling?’ What’s going on for you? What are you scared of?
Call me crazy, but that seems logical to me. Does it to you?
When we encounter problems that are based in the irrational workings of the subconscious, why do we continue to throw practical strategies at them? Why do we undervalue the emotional underpinnings that truly drive our problems?
If your problem is the lack of somewhere to sit, buy a chair. But if your problem is that you won’t have sex with your husband, I don’t think it’s about buying different underwear.
Value your inner self enough to go there first.
I think we prioritise the practical because it feels ‘productive’ it helps us feel in control and in many ways, it’s easier. But really, we just don’t value our inner selves enough. We don’t value our own feelings, emotions, or inner wisdom.
It’s interesting to me that we all want to be more intuitive or psychic. We all want to feel heard; we all want our feelings and emotions acknowledged and understood. We’re all seeking to nurture, help and extend compassion to others. And yet, when it comes to our deepest emotionally triggering problems – we rush to the practical. We throw all our empathic inclinations out the window and instead begin to throw logic, judgements, rationalisations, action items and ‘fixes’ at the problem.
We go to the OUTER first.
Rarely do we attend to our inner world first. Rarely do we simply sit in silent presence and compassion with our problems. Rarely do we show ourselves the level of listening, attuning and empathy that we so readily give to our children, our loved ones, our clients, colleagues, and friends. I bet that you hold space DAILY for someone dear to you. I bet that you give that person all the love and understanding they need to resolve their problem. Do you do the same for yourself?
There is a place for being practical. And you’re already good at that. But have you carved out a place for being present? When it comes to your inner emotional landscape, can you loosen your habit of prioritising the practical and instead begin to prioritise simply ‘being with’ your problem and let it reveal to you, in all it’s irrational glory, what it needs from you and what might just bring you to a place of resolution?