Why self-connection and discernment are just as important as therapy
When I first began searching for the cause and cure of my complex illness many years ago, it felt like a cross between an X-Files investigation and a clandestine car rally.
Healing information was traded in hushed tones and half-truths. You’d hear things like, “My neighbour’s cousin saw this guy up in the hills — reckons he fixed her, never had the migraine again” before being handed a landline number scribbled on the back of a receipt.
I ended up in some extraordinary places with some extraordinary healers. People I’m quite sure would now recoil at the idea of dancing on an Instagram reel or sending long emails packed with yellow-highlighted promises of a cure.
These days, healing isn’t hidden — it’s everywhere. And that accessibility is both a gift… and a problem
Perhaps I’m old school, but it has taken me a while to adjust to the commodification of healing services. On the plus side, the amount and variety of therapeutic support on offer is wonderful and its ease and accessibility, life changing. But on the downside – you’re now faced with more information and choice than ever before.
How the hell do you choose what to do — when everything claims to be the answer?
More Options = Overwhelm
When you’re dealing with a health crisis or emotional problem and desperate to resolve it, decision-making in incredibly stressful. You can find yourself bombarded with unsolicited advice from your well-meaning friends and loved ones. So, you turn to Dr. Google, only to find yourself traumatised by diagnoses you can’t understand and images you can’t unsee. Dr. Google somehow alerts your social media algorithm, who becomes a creepy stalker, feeding you with endless promotions that pummel your ‘pain points’ leaving you with no other option but to turn to your AI Chat Bot for a soothing plethora of…more options.
In a nutshell, navigating the process of finding the help and support you need is even more stressful when you don’t know how to discern what you need and what will be helpful for you.
Who’s in charge of this Healing Journey?
For years, I felt lost, confused, and powerless on my own healing journey, until I discovered the main obstacle to my search for answers: letting my mind control the process.
My intellect was firmly in charge — and it was exhausting.
I let it determine how the healing ‘should’ unfold — prescribing the treatments necessary, dictating the expected outcomes, and enforcing the timeline for achieving results. This internal ‘should-fest’ kept me trapped in a cycle of disappointment, frustration and, eventually, despair.
It also meant that my pantry was full of supplements I didn’t need, my cupboard was full of gadgets I didn’t use, my laptop was full of PDFs I never read, and my inbox was over-flowing with infomercial emails and summit invitations.
The turning point of my healing journey was the simple realisation that my Mind was not in charge.
It had no say in whether a particular treatment or supplement would be effective, it had no idea whether any of the interventions I was simultaneously trying were working and it had no control over how long it was going to take to ‘fix’ any of my symptoms.
I had to learn the hard way, that it’s not until you ‘surrender’ the Intellect’s grip over your healing journey and allow your body to lead, that you will truly start to make progress. And it’s not until you begin listening to what your soul is asking of you, that you will truly begin healing.
True healing is a profound, transformative process guided by both your body and soul.
Getting out of my head, letting go of expectations and timelines and God forbid, letting go of control, was excruciating.
But as I began to listen to the voice of the body, the whispers of the soul: I want you to release this habit…I want you to let go of that pattern…I want you to tend to this sore emotional wound…I want you to eat more spinach…I want you to go and see that amazing Bowen Therapist…I want you to stop reading the news…I want you to start doing Tai Chi…
It got easier.
And I realised an important thing about any healing journey. It supports you to become an EXPERT in discernment. To meet and conquer the beautiful challenge of distinguishing between what your head thinks you ‘should’ do and what your body actually needs.
There’s a lot of decision-making required on your healing journey. And it’s a hit-or-miss, choose-your-own-adventure kind of affair.
Sometimes the supplement recommended by your Dental Hygienist’s niece’s neighbour is a winner, and at other times it’s a red herring. Sometimes a random click on an Instagram promo is a stroke of intuitive brilliance, leading you to an amazing therapist delivering you the perfect piece of advice you need at exactly the right time, and at other times you’ll have to cancel your credit card to stop the unwanted subscription payments. Sometimes you’ll find yourself in some intense trauma-releasing technique when all you needed was a good cup of tea and a re-watch of the Wedding Episode of Outlander.
How do you know?
Self-connection and discernment are just as important as the therapy.
Navigating the modern healing landscape can be confusing, overwhelming and costly unless you actively cultivate your ability to discern what is truly supportive for you.
True healing isn’t just about choosing the right modality or practitioner. It’s about becoming deeply connected to yourself — skilled in listening to your body, attuned to the quiet guidance of your soul, and trusting yourself enough to follow what you hear.
When illness or emotional struggle leaves you feeling powerless or out of control, strengthening your self-connection is healing in and of itself. Your attention turns inward — toward your own agency, your capacity for trust, and your innate wisdom.
And more often than not, that’s exactly what the body has been asking for all along.
