Want Better Focus? Embrace Distraction
How to Master your Energy by Owning Your Need for Downtime
A rare block of time. Nothing overly pressing. No foreseeable interruptions. No outstanding obligations. An unusually non-demanding to-do list.
Today is the day.
You’ve been dreaming of it. Anticipating it. That unfamiliar almost magical opportunity to focus on your passion project. To give yourself the most valuable of commodities, time. The time to devote yourself to doing something you love. Finally! You have no reason to put it off. Nothing is in the way.
And yet.
There you are.
At the kitchen bench, surrounded by dirty breakfast dishes, elbows indented with vegemite toast crumbs. Scrolling.
As you sit there staring at your phone, your mind is simultaneously residing in three places:
Location #1: An Instagram reel of a cute Golden Retriever doing that ‘three cup trick’ where it knows which cup is hiding the treat (amazing!)
Location #2: The thought of: ‘I really should stop scrolling and start my passion project’
Location #3: A running commentary of the Location 2 thought: ‘What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get off this damn phone? Why am I watching this reel? I can’t believe myself. I’ve been dying to do for this project for the past 6 months. I have this ONE rare window of opportunity and here I am wasting it! I’m so lazy. God, I sound like my mother. That reminds me, it’s her birthday next week, I must get her present. Now I won’t have time to do this project after all. Oh man, why can’t I catch a break? There’s always something! I never get time for myself…Oh…next reel…my god, look at the way that Golden Retriever is plonking itself in that giant puddle of mud…’
Distraction.
You’re probably used to blaming it for your lack of productivity.
I didn’t get (work task) done because Rachael called. I didn’t get (action item) done because I had to pick up Johnny from the school sick bay. I didn’t get (major life goal) done because ‘life happened’.
It’s so easy to blame distractions for all your woes. To continue believing: It isn’t ME that is responsible for this series of unfinished, half-baked and incomplete tasks; it is MR. DISTRACTION.
…I didn’t leave this half-typed document on my computer, Mr. Distraction did.
…I didn’t give up halfway through cleaning out this linen cupboard, Mr. Distraction did.
…I didn’t click on ‘Outlander Season 1 Episode 07 The Wedding,’ Mr. Distraction did.
Mr. Distraction is not your FOE; he is your FRIEND.
The thing is, while you’re busy trying to banish Mr. Distraction from your life – googling productivity hacks, downloading apps to help track your progress and learning techniques to keep you focused, he’s quietly and patiently waiting for you.
To get distracted. To run back into his arms.
You’ve judged yourself for having Mr. Distraction in your life and you’re ashamed that he appears to be running it. You see him as the ‘bad guy’ with evil seductive intentions and you’re trying to eradicate him. You’re constantly trying to ‘be free’ of him.
But the reality is - you’re in a co-dependent relationship with Mr. Distraction. He’s the Narcissist, you’re the Empath. He’s all “Look at me! Give your attention to me!” and you’re like “If I just look after you first, I’ll eventually be able to refocus on my own life.”
Chances are that if you continue this unchecked co-dependency, you and he will simply carry on co-creating productivity nightmares that drain your energy, derail your progress and destroy your dreams.
You know you need to stop letting him run the show. You really do want to FOCUS on CREATING something amazing. You desperately want to SEE your genius IDEAS come to FRUITION. You truly want to HONOUR your TALENTS in a constructive way.
But if you are to have any hope of breaking this co-dependency with Mr. Distraction, you must stop trying to eradicate him and instead try to understand the role he is playing for you.
Why do you need him?
Humour me.
Is it possible that Mr. Distraction has become your trusty companion on a life journey that’s become overly obsessed with rushing, hustling, productivity, and output?
Think about it…
Mr. Distraction provides entertainment when the work is boring or monotonous.
He provides a sense of freedom when you feel forced by someone else to do the work.
He provides sweet relief when you feel the work is pressuring you.
He helps you to escape whatever responsibility is weighing you down.
He makes you laugh, feeds you chocolate and lets you have full ownership of the remote control.
Hell, he’s sounding to me like the perfect partner! I wonder if he wears a kilt. 🤔
Things getting too intense? Call in Mr. Distraction.
Things getting too overwhelming? Summon Mr. Distraction.
Things going too fast, getting out of control or going in the wrong direction? That’s a nice job for Mr. Distraction.
Owning your Secret Desire.
Mr. Distraction is the ultimate circuit-breaker.
He pops up to help you to break a circuit of pressure, control or disempowerment. He’s here to help you to indulge a ‘secret desire’ that you won’t permit yourself to indulge.
Secret desires nearly always involve making choices or taking actions that relieve pressure.
Examples of secret pressure-relieving desires include:
TIME PRESSURE DESIRES
You secretly want to:
Take a break
Rest and/or relax
Go to sleep
Shirk a deadline
TASK PRESSURE DESIRES
You secretly want to:
Do a different task
Not do the task at all!
Give the task back to the person who handballed it to you
Put your energy into something else
OUTCOME PRESSURE DESIRES
You secretly want to:
Daydream and indulge the creative, free-associating mind
Give yourself time and space to process something
Liberate yourself from stifling perfectionism
Do NOTHING! Play!
METHOD PRESSURE DESIRES
You secretly want to:
Ignore someone else’s agenda or methodology
Do things your own way
Find your own way to do something
Not do something in the same way you’ve always done it
Release an approach that is filled with over-analysing, over-thinking, and fixating
Check in with yourself here: the next time you find yourself knee-deep in a rendezvous with Mr. Distraction, is it possible that you harbour one (or more) of these secret desires?
Taking Your Power Back from Distraction.
When you don’t take responsibility for your secret desire to relieve pressure, you’ll find yourself at the mercy of Mr. Distraction and you’ll feel used, manipulated or deprived by him.
If this feels hard to get your head around, think of it this way:
Activities such as scrolling on your phone or watching Netflix are not distractions in themselves, you must make a choice, either consciously or unconsciously, to use them as a distraction.
You don’t work for Mr. Distraction; he works for you.
He’s here to help you master your energy. To stop DOING and PUSHING all the time and embrace the downtime you need to focus and be productive.
It’s your responsibility to stay aware of your needs and to monitor your need for a circuit-breaker. The same way you can anticipate when a toddler is about to ‘turn feral’ if they don’t eat or nap soon, you can anticipate when you’re about to turn feral too.
At this point, you could ignore the need and watch helplessly as Mr. Distraction takes over and ‘happens to you’. This will often feel like your motivation has been stolen, your plans have been thwarted and your flow has been hijacked.
Alternatively, you can claim your power. You can take the reins and consciously choose to do something that will enhance, support or nourish your ability to focus on doing the things you love. This involves trusting that your ‘downtime in distraction’ ultimately serves your ability to focus. Which it does. You wouldn’t need it otherwise. Once you take responsibility for your needs, you can then call upon Mr. Distraction and simply enjoy hanging out with him. Guilt-free.
